Bowling... Blowing?

I left home around 2.45, 9.9 times out of time, wherever it is my destination lies, I have to pass through the Nayandhalli junction. This day was no different but suddenly at the junction there seems to be a massive scale of get-together happening of some sorts. Usually, I go through that small village-ish sort of place that takes you to chandra layout in order to avoid the traffic hold ups in front of BHEL up ahead. With the swift uncanny abilites, being the self proclaimed Sherlock Holmes that I am, I deduced in an instant that it's an accident and dismissed the issue from my mind, for I was thinking about bowling, the bowling alley was where I was headed. Now, I am no ten pin master, I have only bowled like five times till now, but none the less, it is one of my recent fascinations, whee!



I go a KM or so ahead and then, my phone started ringing, it must be her, she always does this when I am on my way, and I almost always feel how does calling on the cell when I am on my way make me reach faster in anyway? If anything that's going to rob some precious minutes away from me. I stop to the side,

me: yellow
she: where are you?
me: If you allow me I will reach in 20 minutes
she: NO, there are some bomb blasts, don't come go back, where are you?
me: what? where?
she: Mysore road and all
me: Ah that was bomb blast? ah that explains it
she: hmmm.. go back

I had already seen the traffic situation back there, I thought if I turned around I will be stuck in that mess till eternity, so I soldiered on.

Now my friends, I should draw your attention to one thing, the last time me and my pals decided to go bowling in star city, the news of a localized riot regarding somebody's blatant disregard for secular harmony, the swine incident and what not had rolled out the credit scenes and the customary "THE END" prematurely.

And today, Bombs.. Dude you gotta be kidding me.. thats two out of two times in a space of a week, gah!

Well, I don't have much to say about these people who are responsible for such dastardly acts, guess that makes them feel virile, the most.. apart from the times when they make passionate man love to their followers or whatever, in whichever hell hole they live. And if these people are ever caught don't bother with going to court then debating on trivial issues like what has to be done. There was this practice in ancient Greece or somewhere, where the accused person's heart was ripped out by someone by inserting his hand through the accused's bottom and pull it out the same way. Thing is, these nincompoops will, I can only presume, rather feel extremely delighted when this ritual starts, they will enjoy and savor every moment of it, until suddenly their hearts drop out their back, talk about practical jokes!

And we did see it coming didn't we, but the so called responsible people were too complacent, much the same way in other cities too no doubt, taking the case of Ahmedabad as an example. I mean, they spend majority of their lives harassing couples in parks, malls, hawkers, vendors by the side of the road, almost everybody. They are like a new breed of eunuchs, only difference is, these people also have pension plans and job securities. I honestly believe, these people should get their priorities right and spend their time in more meaningful pursuits rather than harass couples, and innocent civilians.

Five years ago I would have sworn that if I stayed in India then it has to be in Bangalore and nowhere else, nothing else would do. From then, a bit of thinking while sitting under my portico that served as a rudimentary banyan tree, I have achieved enlightenment!

You see, people always harp on about the '70s especially in the western world. For me, I'd give half a limb and a kidney if allowed to stay in the Bangalore of the late '90s. I guess that was the peak of things. Of course, I wasn't here in the late '90s but I would like to take a punt and argue that I am not wrong.

Imagine being an engineering student back then, head out to brigade, watch movies at ridiculously low prices, I mean I have watched MI2 not long ago paying 35 bucks for the balcony seat. Cheap petrol, no traffic, no hassles to find parking space, no need to book tickets three years before. I mean all the mulitplexes are always booked, where are all these people coming from? and how do they manage to be free on weekday mornings when I decide to go assuming nobody's gonna be free to watch movies on weekday mornings?, at 10.. gah, this is just plain ridiculous.

The whole of Bangalore is waiting to burst at the seams, its crowded, over priced, the same places the same things to do and the costs, OMG I just wanna murder myself, 250bucks for a movie ticket? 120 minutes long? 150 for a cup of coffee.. I mean it isn't much, but if you are a student and are having a month long holiday, you will feel the heat where it hurts the most. Even though I am going to be joining the "dark forces" sometime soon, I must concede, the IT junta has ruined Bangalore :(


Where be the Super/Spider/Bat Men of the city?

Ah what a day

0940 hours
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Exams got over yesterday, I haven't had this good undisturbed sleep since a fortnight. aah feels amazing, no alarms, no tension to study(especially if you are a one night stand sort of person) and no stupid VTU papers waiting to whack me in the face with a club for another 6 months.


1000 hours
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Got to go to bank to deposit some cash, a long wait in the queue later, get to the counter, have entered the denominations wrong, that hasn't happened before, ever. Anyway, know the bank people, the counter guy says urgent beda (no urgency) and corrects it himself, hands over the counter foil and am done. okay, something's not quite right today.


1015 hours
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Need to have a haircut, the salon is crowded, have to wait for my turn. It's somebody else's turn now, he goes and sits on the red chair, he's on phone and harping on about "company, legal opinion, payment, registeration, objection", half an hour later he is still on the phone and his hair cut is half done, on the side not covered with his phone/hand. Now its my turn finally, get the worst hair cut ever, ah I told you something didn't feel right today.


1120 hours
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My 3 year LG 19" CRT went kaput recently. My friend has a spare 17 incher lg which she has agreed to lend me. She lands with the monitor in an auto, I lift the monitor which was kept on the seat and the seat is torn, slightly(quarter inch or so). Obviuosly, the auto guy gets very offensive and starts abusing. My friend tells me it might have torn before itself. But no way to establish that now, the auto guy is not ready to listen, he tells how the owner will belt him, how customers refuse to sit because the seat is torn(superhuman customers can see the quarter inch tear on the seat from outside apparently). So thats 230 bucks as fare(not on meter) and another 100 more for the seat, he says he has to replace the whole seat cover. Hope he has had an epic crash today.


1300 hours
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Reach Gandhi bazar and have lunch at gokul and return home by 1500. Now its time to take her View sonic 22 incher that she had dropped at my place after buying yesterday, we start out on the bike with the panel. 22" it might be, but LCD it is, life's a lot easier.



1545 hours
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I am fishtailing worse than a cobra, pull over to the side. You guessed it, a puncture. Have had nearly 7 nails in the last 3 months. I guess the problem is Michelin M45. Grippy it might be, it grips everything good, so good that it grips all the nails and pins too. I had to replace the tube, a quick inquiry around reveals that there are no puncture-wallas for quite some distance around.


To make matters worse, cant carry that panel around walk and push my bike to the puncture-walla, so I flag down an auto and send my friend in it along with her panel. I take another auto to the nearest Honda showroom and get myself a tuff-up tube, bloody 380 bucks for it.. for a frikkin tube!


I take another auto go back to where my bike is parked, hold box which had the tube in one hand, sit on the tank and start riding slowly towards a puncture-walla I had spotted on the way to that showroom. It's fish tailing massively now, if there's one joy ride missing in wonder la, it has to be this. it was fun, but scary. finally reach puncture walla, get the tube changed. and off I go to meet friends.


1700 hours
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Meeting them after a long long time, also have to take some things from one of them,. He has got the stuff on his i pod, but no data cable. okay off I go to another friend's house, get the cable, now what do I take it on, need some blank dvds, go to the nearest stationary store and buy 7 of his [i]imported[/i] discs, ALPHA its called, only thing missing is a "Q" at the end. Go back and try to write, it says 8X, but it writes at 4x,one wasted disc and eons of time later, the discs are burnt and off we go for dinner.


2145 hours - CBI road/bellary road junction
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Yes we just had dinner, I set out from the restaurant, I am stopped by a huge batallion of mamas

mama: helmet helmet tegeeri saar(remove helmet)

me: /removes helmet

mama: DL kodi(give DL)

me:/hands over my DL

mama: yellinda bartideera? (where are you coming from)

me: /shows the restaurant and says, ootakke bandidvi (had come for dinner)

mama: yen kelsa madtideera? (where do you work?)

me: Naan student, engineering final year.

mama seeing my DL in a ravaged state: yen documents heega itkolodu guru?(IS this how you keep documents?)

me: maleli nendu heegagide (It's got wet in rain)

mama: Card maadiskoli bega saahebre (Get a card made soon boss)

me: ok


2150 hours - sadashivnagar police station signal
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mama: helmet tegeeri (remove helmet)

me does as directed

mama: DL ideeya? (Do you have DL?)

me: yes

mama: ok hogi (ok hogi)



2210 hours - magadi road underpass construction
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I am standing in signal, two mamas are going around from bike to bike and it appears like they are asking the riders to remove helmet and smooching them. One of them approaches me, taps on helmet and says tegeeri(open)


mama: yen hesuru? (whats your name?) leans towards me, brings his face close to mine and puts his ear to my lips.

me: Chethan

He doesn't fancy people with my name I suppose, moves on without saying another word.



2213 hours - few meters before the vijaynagar bus stand signal
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mama flags me down

mama: helmet open maadi (remove helmet)

mama: Drinks maadidyenappa? (have you had drinks)

I am tempted to say, saar neev free kotru kudiyolla (sir, I wont drink even if you give for free)

I don't drink
I don't smoke
I don't eat non veg(no egg also, except in cakes)

before all of you say, "saale paida kyon hua? Let me just say =P

me: (but I say) illa saar (no saar)

mama pats on the back: aaytu hogappa (ok go)



I mean how do they manage to rely on medieval methods to nab drunk drivers I dunno(ask name and keep ears to lips?), and secondly they have assumed that today, for some reason all the drunk ones are going from CBI road to vijaynagar. So, they have placed 20 mamas every 50 feet and think all the drunk people are on two wheelers today.

I mean at least they are trying to do something but, those methods scare me. What if their (highly scientific) methods make them feel I am drunk? Earlier it was fun to ride in the city after 10 or so, now you have to stop every 10 feet.


I dont know what I wanted to tell, just felt like sharing this sequence of events, and its quite long, I would like to say, if you came here after reading the whole thing, then thanks for having the patience.

else, go back to para 2, thank you..