Sour grapes?

Dear god,
Sorry I haven't been able to update my diary since many days. You know how busy I am with work, my diary is always at home. I was lying sloshed at my latest woman companion's place for the last two days. I thought at least this one would last for a while, but this morning she kicked me in the nuts and said she could tolerate my hairy ass/flatulence no more, she said even eight graders' are bigger than me. And so my 367th attempt comes to a naught, else I would still be lying at her place, sloshed of course!!


I am sick of having to spend money for this, which means I have to cut down my expenditure on booze and meat. You know how much I hate doing that. Are you angry with me? I know I had promised to come and pray, but those educated bastards chased away the drug peddlers from around the premises. And you very well know I don't go to any place where there is no access to substances :(


I don't know why you never saw this coming, but to ask you to bring back those drug dealers, I will have to come there. Which is impossible as there is no supplies around, you have put me in a deadlock situation! I expected better from you.


BTW know what? almost all my friends are married now. They're getting it for free. The only time I get it for free is when I see those destitute people naked on the streets, I try to get off on it every time, that's like happy hours for me. I have never seen a beautiful girl naked in my life, outside of porn that is. When the cyber cafe owner caught me watching porn, he threw me out saying it's uncool for his cafe to have middle aged balding porn surfers :(


There are those pretty young things all around these days, puttering about doing hmmm... I donno what they do. But they look happy and contented with life. They work in swanky offices, make much more money than I can ever dream of and look very smart and intelligent. Too bad, I can never know such women in my life, not in this lifetime :(


Just the other day somebody was making noises about building houses with bathrooms for the less fortunate. How dare he take away my free sights and sounds? So, I rounded up a bunch of people; got high on cheap whiskey, went to that guy's house and pelted some stones. It was amazing fun... until dysentery kicked in!! :(

Had to go to a doc and show my ass, amazing thing doctors can peep into people's bottoms/privates and get paid for it. I should have listened to my parents and studied something at least when I was younger, maybe I could have been a doctor looking at bare bottoms today :(

Note to self: Never have cheap whiskey ever again!

Speaking of whiskey, that industrialist guy from Bangalore is always with pretty girls. Why should he get to have all the fun? So I rounded up my friends again... but this time they pelted stones at me when I suggested we have cheap whiskey and throw stones at his house in Bangalore! Somebody told me, the industrialist would have whooped my ass if I did anything to his house anyway, thanks a lot you saved me!!


Oh and BTW when I had been to Bangalore I saw a lot of pretty girls in western dresses, I got deeply aroused by just looking at my niece's tops/belts/straps. I ran towards the toilet to gratify myself, in the process my lungi fell off showcasing my assets... everybody laughed at my inadequate equipment :(


From that day I go to the city often, position myself in strategic locations on the streets, Ogle at undergarments of women hung out in the sun and pleasurize myself. I especially liked one particular house... but you are really cruel, I realized later that those garments belonged to a 80 year old lady. Even you played with me?? :(


These frequent visits to the city have drained my pockets badly. And also the time I spend ogling in city has left me with very little time to work. My Boss fired me, also I felt it's better to find employment with a credible pick pocketer's association in the city itself. I approached quite a few of them, I explained I have nearly 20 years experience, but they laughed at my archaic methods. Nobody is hiring me :(


This is all very wrong, the society is unjust. I will set this all right, why should the educated/working/intelligent get to have all the fun? and women at that? I feel very inadequate when I even see girls overtaking me in cars/bikes while I am on my Atlas cycle that dad gifted(thank you papa)... I mean, I am the man here,not a well endowed one though, but a man nonetheless... how dare they overtake me? I will round up a lot of people(no cheap whiskey this time, I've learnt my lesson) and harass the free citizens. If I don't get to have, they can't either! I will call a press meeting and issue statements!


ps: I'm shitting bricks now, must have been that costly vodka... my brain only works on cheap whiskey... people will chase me like a mad dog now!! oh... why didn't you save me? yeah yeah, I know I know, I will come pray... you take phone calls? or atleast get some drug dealers around your place for fuck's sakes!!